Minimalism in my own definition is putting stuff away which do not add value to us. I have written a post about it and I have cited examples of what I did with my stuff, my wardrobe, and my digital space. Some were radical. Some were things I did to simplify.
As my journey to minimalism continues, I realized that the minimalist lifestyle is more than giving away stuff, scanning papers to have more space and deleting useless phone applications. Minimalism also includes managing our emotions, thoughts, and energy towards the people around us. Like letting go of useless stuff, minimalism also allows us to let go of relationships which do not add value and quality to our lives. If we need to be intentional with our material consumption and our inner lives, we should all as well be intentional with our relationships.
Drama is one of the many relational clutters which drags down people of all ages. It lurks in churches, schools, offices, gyms and in all social circles and we all have it inside us. We are addicted to drama. Drama is a bittersweet experience. Although we are hurting, we love the attention we are getting. I remembered one time when I was so angry at a certain person who was not able to finish a given task. Everyone around me saw how furious I was so they started offering me food to cheer me up. I overreacted. Everybody got awkward and uncomfortable. I felt bad for days, which is very unnecessary.
My dramatic tendencies were from my role as an only child in the family. I was a brat. When I was a pre-teen, I asked my mom to buy me those Harry Potter themed UNO Cards. I started crying in public and my mom had no choice but to buy me one. My drama stints somehow ended when someone confronted me that the world does not revolve around me.
On the receiver’s end, being with Dramatic people drains our physical, emotional and spiritual energy. Drama Kings and Queens love the attention or should I say they demand attention. I am not saying that they are bad people. They are full of unmanaged emotions, childhood issues or insecurities. We must not let other people’s drama drag us down. Here are some tips on how to handle the drama kings and queens inside and around you: (Disclaimer: These were also notes to myself and reminders for me if confronted with these people or if the drama king inside me resurface again)
1. Do not feed the drama. The majority of the statements of Drama Kings and Queens are blah blahs. They exaggerate things. They are usually loud (like an empty gong) and they are the source of the school or office gossips. You can listen but do not bother reacting because they hardly hear what other people are saying. They are overwhelmed with their own feelings and this is very contagious. Do not drop a statement. Do not correct their statements because they will take it against you or use it against you. Once a drama queen starts to talk, act on your escape plan.
2. Learn to say no. Minimalism is promoting intentionally what matters to us including our values. If drama kings and their actions demand a compromise to our core values, we must say no, let go of the relationship and move on.
3. Allow people to be people. We need to understand why Drama Queens act a certain way. This is the highest road to take and we should all take it.
4. Choose the people you want to be with. We should choose the people who will nurture us, inspire us and challenge us.
According to Joshua Fields Millburn of The Minimalists, ” Moving on is sometimes the only way to develop new, empowering relationships. Starting anew, empty-handed and full-hearted, you can build fresher, stronger, more supportive relationships—important relationships that allow you to have fun, be happy and contribute beyond yourself. These are the relationships we all need.”
The world is already full of useless heavy energy. The Philippines in particular is already suffering from this accumulated drama. News about huge earthquakes, piling of Senators in prison, pending impeachment of the president, extra-judicial killings, inflation, transport strikes, and drug-related crimes flood the news and the last thing that the country needs is negative drama from Drama Kings and Queens.